No, not this kind:

I’m talking about someone who is consistently encouraging and supportive as you pursue your goals. Goooooooooo Jen!

Not everyone in your life will be happy for you as you begin to succeed. If you’re working on weight loss, your partner may feel threatened and insecure. He or she might unconsciously (or even worse, consciously) sabotage your efforts by stocking the house with your favorite foods because keeping you where you are is safe. Your best friend, who is also overweight, might feel pushed aside as you replace dinners out with her with trips to the gym. She might treat your weight loss efforts with disdain or tempt you with trips to your favorite haunt (hello, Cold Stone Creamery). Neither of these people mean you actual harm; they just have issues of their own that are raised by your success.

So where can you find your own personal cheerleader?

• Support groups. Going back to our weight loss example, you could probably find great cheerleaders at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting or in programs like Weight Watchers, Weigh Down, or TOPS.
• Online forums. These virtual support groups are just as good as the real thing. No matter what your goal, I guarantee you’ll have no problem finding an online forum that matches your needs.
• Blogs. Start a website and blog about your goal. I’ve received so many supportive comments and emails, as well as tons of great advice from my readers. Blogging can also be very therapeutic.
• Coaches. Coaches are there to help you set direction and to provide support and encouragement along the way. I happen to know a great one if you’re looking…
• Friends/family. You want to be very careful with this category for the reasons I mentioned above. Of course, your husband or your best friend wants to want to help you, but there may be underlying issues that will affect their ability to be 100% supportive. If you go this route, I suggest being very clear about what you’re looking for (e.g., “I’m going to call you once a week and tell you how I’m doing with my workouts. I need you to congratulate me when I do well and encourage me not to give up when I’m struggling.”)
• Right here!

Let me explain a little bit more about that last one… As I mentioned before, my readers are frickin’ awesome! Every day, one of you teaches me something, inspires me, and/or motivates me to keep going when things get tough. I’d like to spread the love. I think it would be really cool to do a cheerleader matchmaking exercise.

If you’d like to be set up with a cheerleader, email me or leave a comment here. Tell me generally what goal(s) you’re working on, and I’ll try to pair you up with someone else who’s focused on the same area (my ability to do that will, of course, depend on how many responses I get for each type of goal). I’ll put you in contact with your match, and the two of you can cheer each other on toward the finish line! You could take turns calling each other once a week to check in. You could send a daily or weekly email with your action plan and a few inspiring quotes, articles, or pictures. You could pledge to get rewards for each other for achieving goals. If you happen to live in the same area, you could even meet in person to strategize.

I don’t know what the interest level would be for something like this (I’ll definitely be participating!!), but I’m hoping that at least a few people will want to play along. Who knows, you could make a lifelong friend!

Everyone have a FABULOUS weekend!

Tags: community, help, network, support

I played with my niece Jenna last night.

Guess what we had for dinner?

She totally gets her pasta eating style from me…

There are several open positions on my contract, and my Division Director and I have been conducting interviews over the past few weeks. I know that there are tons of intelligent, motivated, professional people out there looking for jobs, but recently, I’ve seen even the smartest and most qualified candidates make fatal mistakes in the interview process. Drawing on these experiences, I’ve compiled some interview pointers.

1. Quadruple check your resume and cover letter. (This usually comes before the interview, but it’s so important that I’m including it anyway.) There is no excuse–I repeat, no excuse, for having typos in your resume and/or cover letter. If you’re not a good proofreader, have someone else do it for you. As a matter of fact, ask another person to look at it no matter what. They may point out unexplained abbreviations, odd formatting, missing information, weird wording, or other mistakes that could land your resume in the trash can.
2. Be on time. This really should go without saying, but sigh… I guess it doesn’t. Leave extra early. If something happens and you’re going to be late, call the interviewer and calmly (please don’t cry–this also happened to me recently) say “I wanted to let you know that I’ll be arriving 10 minutes late due to an accident on I-66. I apologize for the inconvenience.” Nine times out of ten, it won’t be a problem. (Just don’t stroll in an hour late without calling ahead, and don’t tell your potential employer that you’ll be late because you overslept.)
3. Be self-confident. If you come into the interview and you’re so nervous that your hands are shaking and your voice is trembling, it… well, it just doesn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence. I know that job interviews are intimidating, but you have to be able to project an image of calm and poise even when your guts are in a knot. It’s hard, but if I can do it, so can you. Try the “act as if” technique–it works wonders for me.
4. Dress for success. The hard truth is that you will be judged in part on your appearance. If your clothes are wrinkled, there’s sauce on your blouse, and you’re wearing Doc Martens (I actually saw this last week–with a SKIRT), it projects an “I don’t care enough to try” attitude. Yes, we’re not all fashionistas, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look professional and pulled together. For most office jobs, you should be wearing a business suit. (*TIP*-tailoring can make even a $20 Goodwill suit look like a million bucks!) Before you leave the house, check your fingernails, shine your shoes (or at least wipe the mud off), and do a quick once-over to make sure you’re not wearing your breakfast. And ladies, don’t wear your hair like this. That is not professional hair! A sleek, low ponytail secured with a plain black elastic always works.
5. Be positive. I know that your last job was an absolute cesspool of backstabbing, gossip, and general despair, but for the love of God, don’t frame it that way in an interview. To reference a gossipy work environment, say that you learned a great deal about effective communication. For backstabbing, say that you learned the value of teamwork. If asked why you’re leaving, say that you’re ready to tackle new challenges and additional responsibilities. Don’t fall into the trap of badmouthing your former employer! The person you’re interviewing with could actually know the people you used to work for–especially if you’re in a specialized industry.
6. Don’t chew gum. Just… don’t.
7. Practice. You will most likely be asked about your strengths and weaknesses. You’ll be asked to describe an instance when you worked well with a team, or when you displayed leadership, or when you overcame a challenge. Do some reading online about standard job interview questions ahead of time and be prepared with responses. Don’t look at the interviewer like a deer in the headlights when they ask what you’re biggest strength is.
8. Be enthusiastic. Let the interviewer know that you’re actually excited about the job. Ask questions about the work environment, the clients, the challenges of the job, significant successes, etc. Let your interest in the job show. (Be wary of asking salary/benefits questions early in the interview–this should come at the end of a good interview where you’re fairly confident you’ll get a call-back.)
9. Market yourself. You want to talk up your high points with out sounding too braggy. Some examples, “Analytical thinking is my strongest skill. I love tackling complex problems!” This conveys that you’re a good analyst and that you enjoy it without sounding over the top. Another example: “Graduate school honed my ability to write well under pressure. I’m considered the go-to person in my office for drafting documents with a quick turn-around.” I know it feels weird to talk about yourself this way, but trust me, it sounds great to an interviewer!
10. Explain your mistakes. For recent college graduates, if your GPA was under 3.0, you’d better be prepared to explain why. Don’t get defensive when you’re asked about it. Come up with a simple explanation like “Early in my college career, I had difficulty managing the workload. I recognized the problem and took a course on time management and study skills. I was able to pull my GPA from a 2.0 to a 2.8 in just one semester. It was an extremely valuable learning experience for me.” If you’ve been fired, be prepared with an explanation that focuses on what you learned from the experience rather than pointing fingers at the company that fired you. No matter what black marks you’ve got on your record, there’s a way to spin them in a positive light.

Do you have any other job interview tips? What mistakes have you made (or seen) in job interviews?

It was late and my husband and I couldn’t think of anything to photograph, so you’re getting more cat pictures. Sorry. I’m babysitting the niece tonight, so there should be some adorable baby goodness for Day 18.

Behold the graceful and demure Bad Cat:

And his more reclusive counterpart Mittens:

Mittens is perched on one of the many beams in our attic loft apartment. (Yes, those are Christmas lights wrapped around the beam. We put them up two years ago and liked having the extra ambient light so we left them.)

The idea for today’s post comes to us courtesy of Stephanie Qilao at Back in Skinny Jeans. Every Tuesday, Stephanie posts about ways to make “two tiny changes” to improve and health-ify (yes, it’s a word–as of now) your life without triggering your Inner Resistance Monster. I read her post yesterday and loved it so much that I wanted to feature it today.

Go read the post.

Finished already? Wow–that was fast! Now, let’s take a look at a few of the exercises Stephanie suggested:

Stop thinking and over analyzing. Get a pen & paper and start free flow writing for 1 minute on tiny changes that pop into your head. Again, don’t analyze or judge during the 1 minute, just write whatever comes out. Now, look at the list, and pick 3 things that you could do right now, and do them. Again, no ifs, buts, or I-can’t-until. Just do it.

Here’s my brainstorming list of tiny changes: The three highlighted in red are the three I chose to do right now!
- Sit quietly–no TV, no internet, no phone–for 10 minutes every day when I walk in the door after work. (I’m working up to a 10-minute meditation for my “daily routines” challenge, but my own Inner Resistance Monster HATES the idea of meditating.)
- Use Stevia in my morning tea instead of Splenda or agave nectar.
- Stock my desk with fresh fruit at the beginning of the week for snacks.
- On days when I feel like I can’t do 30 minutes of creative writing, at least do a 5-minute writing exercise.
- Don’t check my work email at home.
- Switch to water instead of Crystal Light. (I drink OCEANS of Crystal Light.)
- Go outside for a 10-minute walk at least once during every (non-rainy) workday.
- Check email once every three hours instead of obsessively every 10 minutes.

What’s the one thing you’ve been putting off recently? Making an uncomfortable phone call? Talking to the bill collector? Going to the doctor? Make it a point this week to stop putting off that thing and get it over with and do it. You have to do it anyway and putting it off only makes things worse not better, and it sure isn’t going to go away the longer you ignore it. It will be one less thing on your To-Do list.

What’s one thing I’ve been putting off recently? Well, two significant ones come to mind. One is finishing the short story I’m entering in a literary contest (due May 31!) and the other is finishing up a mostly-done manuscript. I probably won’t be able to get both of those done this week, but I should be able to do the following by the end of the month (1) finish the short story & submit it; (2) finish outlining the rest of my book; and (3) finish editing the first 2/3 of the book. That gives me 18 days…

What three tiny changes did you pick to do right now? What have you been putting off that you pledged to do this week (or month)?